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Peter Stavinoha, Ph.D., a neuropsychologist at Children’s Medical Center of Dallas, stresses that there are ways parents can help their children cope with fears and anxieties, such as being available when children want to talk and reducing children’s exposure to news coverage and discussions of the events. “Rather than forcing them to talk, be near them, so that when they are ready to talk you are available,” Stavinoha says. However, parents also can reduce a child’s anxiety and fear by monitoring exposure to the news and images of the disaster and to reports about future attacks, Stavinoha says. “The scenes will continue to be highly disturbing to children,” he adds. Stavinoha also reminds parents of the importance of modeling healthy emotional coping during stressful times. This does not mean hiding one’s feelings; rather, parents should stay aware of their reactions and show their children how they deal with the disaster in a healthy manner. “Children have vivid imaginations, and the fears exhibited by parents may be greatly exaggerated in the minds of children,” he says.
“Parents need to help children put words to their feelings,” Stavinoha says. “They should be ready to help their kids articulate their fears and anxieties. This helps a child feel like he or she has been understood.”
“Stick to answering their questions at a developmentally appropriate level while giving the child plenty of opportunities to discuss the disaster,” he says. “Expect that many questions will be repetitious and redundant as children try to make sense of this. Do not deny how serious the situation is. Particularly for older children, it is important to acknowledge the significance of their reactions and anxieties.”
In the short term, while the national events play out, Stavinoha suggests participating in some activities that help put children and families back in control in an otherwise chaotic situation. Attending prayer services or helping with disaster relief efforts for victims can provide a feeling of empowerment so that children are not feeling so helpless about the situation.
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