t is common in a tragedy for a child to feel a loss of control and stability.

The best way to help children deal with tragedies is just to be with them, says Peter L. Stavinoha, Ph.D., a psychologist at Children's Medical Center of Dallas.

"This is a time for parents to listen to their children and acknowledge whatever feelings they are expressing," Stavinoha says.

He says it's best to have a conversation with your child, not a one-way discussion regarding tragic events.

To help children understand tragic events, it is important for parents to be honest and give factual answers to their child's questions, but not overwhelm them with information that they may not understand, Stavinoha says.

"Stick to answering their questions at a developmentally appropriate level while giving the child plenty of opportunities to discuss the tragedy," he says.

 

Peter L. Stavinoha, Ph.D., a psychologist at Children's Medical Center of Dallas, offers the following recommendations for dealing with an emotional tragedy: Honestly answer children's questions as the concerns surface. Reassure children that parents don’t have all the answers either, but that the children are protected. School-age children typically seek information from parents in bits and pieces. After an initial conversation about the tragedy, they may go off and play and then come back and ask more questions. Stavinoha suggests that parents follow the child’s lead because "children will take what they can take when they can take it." Regular routines such as family meals should be adhered to as much as possible because this helps give a sense that things remain predictable and secure at home. Spend more family time together over dinner or at bedtime so children feel a sense of closeness and have opportunities to express anxieties. Watch for symptoms of fear or anxiety. Fear may affect a child’s diet or ability to sleep. Fear also may cause irritability, regression into former fears, clinginess or aggressive behavior in a child. Children have vivid imaginations. The fears that parents feel may be greatly exaggerated in the minds of their children. Children take cues from parents. Parents will want to be careful how they respond to difficult news. This does not mean hiding one’s feelings; rather, parents should stay aware of their reactions and show their children how they deal with the event in a healthy manner.