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 Most American kids get a healthy dose of sex education in school. By the time they’ve finished elementary school, they’ve probably heard that drugs and smoking are bad for your health. Many middle schools offer programs about AIDS, drunk driving and other health hazards.
But knowing the facts is not enough. As a parent, you play a critical role in helping kids make responsible choices. “If you parent well from the beginning then you’ll parent well through the preteen and teen years,” says Pete Stavinoha, Ph.D., a neuropsychologist at Children’s Medical Center Dallas. That means being a good listener as well as a good teacher. “You don’t have to agree that everything your child does is right, but listen and then share your own ideas.” Instead of sitting your children down for “The Talk” as they enter puberty, Stavinoha suggests you let TV, magazines and other popular culture help you open the door to conversations about sex and abstinence, alcohol and drugs. Then, if you and your children have questions or concerns, you can address them together. Of course, not every child grows up trouble-free, even with caring parents. Stavinoha warns that media portrayals of “ordinary” teens can be misleading. “Parents are led to believe that it’s normal for children to do self-destructive things as part of rebellion. This is not normal,” he says. Healthy risk-taking, such as disagreeing with an authority figure, is part of growing up. But “it’s not normal for a child to be truant and stoned. That’s not healthy growth. It’s a symptom of a problem.”
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