But by helping your child anticipate those fears, you can ease the trauma.

“You wouldn’t just drop a child off on the first day of kindergarten with no idea of what’s going to happen. It’s just as important to prepare kids for the experiences they’ll have in the hospital,” says Ellen Hollon, director of child life at Children’s Medical Center Dallas.

At Children’s, for example, children scheduled for surgery are prepared for the event using real medical equipment and developmentally appropriate explanations before their operations. And to lessen anxiety, surgeons may sedate children during procedures that adults face awake, under local anesthetic.

Still, children look to their families for emotional support. They’re likely to have some of these worries:

• Toddlers and preschoolers worry about being separated from their parents. They need to hear that Mom or Dad will be with them or close by, and to be reassured when they will see them again.
• School-age children may worry they’ll be disfigured – that they won’t look or be able to play like other children. An honest explanation of what to expect after the surgery is important for this information-seeking age group. Prepare them for large bandages or any anticipated scars.
• Teens also fret about their appearance and ability to fit in with the crowd. They also worry about missingschool activities or sports. Teens also may be curious about the details of the surgery, and may want to discuss them with their surgeon.

“Make it clear that fears are normal and perfectly OK, and, above all, be honest. If something is going to cause discomfort, it’s better to say so and help the child develop some coping strategies to deal with it,” Hollon says. “The experience of pain differs widely among individuals. Assure your child that the pain will be addressed. You might want to review with your child a past success in coping with a difficult experience and use those same strategies for this experience.”

Other ways you can help:

• Deal with your own fears and questions first. Talk with the child’s doctor until you’re sure you know what’s going on and why a procedure is necessary.
• Choose a doctor and hospital that specialize in pediatric surgery. They’ll be better prepared to provide the services and support the child’s needs.
• Learn how to talk to your child about the surgery. Many doctors and hospitals offer brochures, coloring books and other aids.
• Teach your child to communicate her needs. Let the youngster know it’s OK to be uncomfortable or scared, and to say so.
• Help the child avoid last-minute anxieties by packing a suitcase in advance. Pack a favorite blanket or teddy bear. If the post-op recovery period will require bed rest, consider packing a favorite video; many hospitals have VCRs in patient rooms.